Christmas Break

Are there five more boring days in the world than Dec. 26-30? If you're like me, you wake up at noon, eat cereal, watch a movie, convince one of your family members that you need to go spend a gift certificate, do that, realize it only took 45 minutes (Fuck!), watch another movie, and then because you and your twin brother are so bored, you go out drinking at a bar. Then you get home at midnight, drink another beer and watch reruns of Scrubs, go to bed at 3am, and do it all again the next day. Sometimes you go out to a movie instead of a to a bar. Other days you throw in a family game of Monopoly or Risk. It's all just stalling for time until you get to go back to school.

Some of you are freshmen or sophomores and you still have high school friends who you hang out with. But if you're like me, you live in Charlotte, NC and the only people you know are kids whose parents have forced them to hang out with you because the parents are friends with your mom. We call those "play dates."

Me: "Really mom? You set us up on another play date where we are forced to pretend we like some kid we met for the first time and then be interested in demolition derbies, deer hunting, and the Appalachian State Mountaineers? Thanks!!"
Mom: "You guys can try to have a positive attitude on this."
Me: "When have you known either of us to have positive attitudes?"

This happens all too often.

You ask me how I survived a whole summer here? I spent lots of time at my job, I spent about two or three hours each night running and going to the gym, and I drank a glass of a wine (or three) each night. It helped.

So these five days are pretty much a Purgatory until I get to ascend into the Heaven that is driving up to DC to drink for three days with my older brother and his friends. Don't ask me how that can be compared to Heaven. It's just gotta be better than hanging out in Charlotte. We're leaving tomorrow and staying through Tuesday, when I'll be driving back down to Charlotte to resume the aforementioned fast-lane lifestyle until I head back up to Boston for early return.

And your next response:

Puzzled Reader: "Bloom, why don't you just drive up to Boston after DC rather than spending the next week in Charlotte."
Me: "Well for some odd reason, my family likes it when I come home, which I can only assume to be because misery loves company."
Puzzled Reader: "Dude, sucks man."

- Bloom